Standard Living

( Just continuing the Sorrelpaw and Crimsonclaw role-play XD )

Sorrelpaw blinked in surprise. Somehow, that just about answered any question she could ever ask. She never knew his past was so horrid...no wonder he became the warrior he is today. She just couldn't believe what had happened to his family, what he was like back then, everything.

Sorrelpaw was too intent in listening to even hear the rare stumbling the warrior made, and the sorrow clenching on his throat. For the first time, she actually felt bad for Crimsonclaw. Sorrelpaw thought she had one hectic life, her family dying one by one. But all at once...she couldn't imagine having such a life as Crimsonclaw.

A swift comforting lick swiped around Crimsonclaw's ear, an attempt made by Sorrelpaw to maybe calm him a bit. She didn't want him to be sulking over his past through the whole training session, but at least it might go more faster since Sorrelpaw devolped new feelings for the tom. Understanding.

"Sorry I asked...I didn't know you had such a hard life." adding in a more humorous tone to lighten the mood she meowed, "And I thought I had one heck of a life!" Changing the subject and swirving away from the sorrowful mess she meowed, "Now, ask me something!"

Crimsonclaw flicked off Sorrelpaw's actions with a quick swipe of his tail. As the snow crackled under his paws he found his body looming over the she-cat, a small smirk on his face.
"Hard life?" Pausing his eyes grew narrowed, "Your the one that lost every single member. Not even by natural causes." Staring down at the she-cat he wondered how such a cat couldn't even be faltered by her past.

Perhaps it did falter her slightly, if anything. Perhaps that's why she has such a hard exterior. Maybe she hides all of her pain with laughter and jokes. Maybe he could brake that exterior. Smiling slightly he sat himself down and meowed,

"Why do you act tough and unbreakable." The 'meow' had been stern yet welcoming at the same time. The kind of meow that would make anyone want to admit something. That is if there was anything to admit.

ooc: BLERGH!!My fingers are so not in the typing mood today 8.8

Sorrelpaw let out a snort. What's so wrong in acting the way she acts? What was he trying to get at? The apprentice suddenly felt as if she were pressured to say something, to do something. Just...Sorrelpaw couldn't explain it. All she knew was that her mentor had her pondering about this question like crazy. Maybe that was the plan all along? Sorrelpaw shook her head. No, there was a much better cause than that. Besides, it was a chance to get to know each other, right? He wouldn't be mouse-brained enough to do such a thing.

But at least Sorrelpaw knew the answer as well as the back of her paw. It would be easy to answer, and it was something proud to admit. And the more she thought about it, she really had never admitted before. Maybe that's why answering this was going to sound like she was bursting with pride. Though pride did caress her words, pain also engulfed them silently.

Though, she didn't want to show it. Not like Crimsonclaw. He seemed weak in her eyes, giving into sorrow when speaking truth about tragedy. It was dramatic indeed to talk about such things, but that past made him stronger. And he should be proud of it. Not weeping like a little kit. Sorrelpaw wanted to make sure she was the opposite of Crimsonclaw in her past, she was proud, and stronger.

But acting proud also makes you sound tough. It makes you block out all those other emotions. So, in truth, Sorrelpaw never had the time, or never wanted, to actually feel those feelings of her past. Her real feelings. So she locked them up and replaced them with pride and a tough attitude, knowing she would feel stronger that way. Why did she act all proud? That was something that she was about to answer. Because her attitude is never complete without a wisp of pride in her words.

"Because I am tough and unbreakable. I also want to show that I'm the last of my family, and that I won't die like the rest of them. I will survive, and succeed my duty to continue the generation of my family. And if I want to do that, I have to be strong. I can't show weakness, nor can I be weak. And I'm proud," her speech was a success in sounding strong and proud, but the last few words seemed to be more weak and uneven, as if sorrow tightened her throat. "To be a survivor, and to be given the important duty in continuing what my family could never do."

More weak, but of course, more proud. Satisfied with her answer, she shook her head to clear her rigid thoughts, eying Crimsonclaw with a mischievous look in her eyes. "You should be more proud of your past too, Crimsonclaw. Your past makes you stronger, ya know."

( Aww. I hope I don't give you more pain with my long post >.< I got carried away. Oh and I hope your leg gets better! )

For once in his life, and most likely the only time in his life, Crimsonclaw felt admiration for the mouse-brained she-cat. She spoke about such things that Crimsonclaw could only dream about consisting. But sorrow was his nature and because of this nature he was like a leaf. Yes, a leaf. Crimsonclaw had thought this concept out so many times and each time it seemed to describe him.

Leaves in green-leaf are high amongst the trees. They're high and proud. Everybody loves the green leaves, this had related to his relationship with his father. As well as his very own apprenticeship. But as the weather grows colder the leaves tend to shrivel up and become something ugly.

Crimsonclaw had became ugly, he once was a laughing apprentice. When his life was engulfed by sorrow he became revolting. He was a shell of what he had once been, nobody loved him now. He was just that old abandoned leaf that everyone cursed under their breath.

And finally when leaf-bare rolls in the leaf gives up and floats back down to the earth. This included Crimsonclaw's downfall, cats suspected him of murder. Apprentice's trembled at his name. Yes he was a discarded leaf.

Those words, those horrid words burned his soul. There she was in her pride in her glory, and taunted him. She tantalized him with her flaunting. She asked the tom as gingerly as her body allowed her. She asked him why he never took the proud route. And then he spoke, his words should have came out angrily and ugly. As ugly as his soul.

"My past does nothing but prove I'm the breathing example of failure." His words had been nothing but shameful. What happens when new-leaf arrives? The leaves get to start all over again.

ooc:Ehheh. EMO POST xD

Sorrelpaw twitched her whiskers in irritation. What kind of answer was that? Didn't he have any sort of positive attitude left in him? It felt as if he was weaker than she ever saw him before. That his strength on the outside was not even close to his strength on the inside. Like his structure on the outside was just a mask to hide his scarred soul.

This made Sorrelpaw angry. Putting himself down like this...it made her want to claw some sense into him. Snarling, she growled, raising her height, "Shut up!" with a spat she continued, "I don't care what your's, or any cats' past is like, no cat should feel like they're a failure! And if you would stop sulking and actually consider how cats think of you now, you would notice your not a failure either!

"Do you even try to notice what cats think of you now? Every single cat that knows you knows your the most strongest, loyal cats any Clan could wish for. Sure, some might think bad of your grumpy attitude, but they know your a wise strong cat! And believe it or not, you are!" Sorrelpaw growled, her eyes blazing with disbelief at how Crimsonclaw was acting.

"You shouldn't put yourself down, unless you really are the weak coward you think you are. And even though I hate admitting it," she meowed more ignorantly, narrowing her eyes, "You are the bravest, most strongest cat I've ever met. I won't ever look at you the same if you don't do something to change your ways. It's not too late as you think." Sorrelpaw concluded, lashing her tail.

"Why shouldn't I put myself down!" he snarled, the crimson colored tom could have been mistaken for a raging fire for the way his pelt bristled. The gingers and reds seemed rise and fall with the swift movements as the tom lunged forward.

Slipping himself right in front of the she-cat he found himself nose to nose with the green-eyed girl.
"You don't get it do you?!" he growled, snorting impatiently he backed off. Pacing back and forth he cursed angrily under his breath. Back--and forth, back and forth. The tom was experiencing an emotional roller-coaster, and sadly he was near the bottom of the track.

"I'm the reason my family's dead, you mouse-brain!" he snarled, as he turned to face her any cat would have flinched. For his large structure, the bristling only made him appear larger. While his eye's were flames amongst shadows themselves.

"Were you the reason why half the clan was wiped out?" he screeched, he was pretty much hyper-ventilating by now. Each breath was rugged and stressed while his fur was creating a pretty intense forest fire.

"Why would any cat be proud of that? Be proud of having your father hate you? How could anyone would be proud of that history?" As his words continued on his voice became much more quieter he found himself meowing coldly,
"Just go back to camp, leave me to be." Narrowing his eyes he snarled, "Leave."

ooc: xD YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS TO WRITE WHEN Your listening to the songs, "Superstar & Girls on Trampolines?" SO HARD! They're all funny/happy songs xD

( LOL! Yeah it'd be even harder if a cat died and a super happy song was playing XD Unless it was a bad kitty =O Everyone would be going "YAY LET'S PARTY! I'll get some catnip! =3" -random- )

This response made Sorrelpaw even more frustrated and mad than she already was.

Here he goes again, sulking, Sorrelpaw thought with a surge of rage. Clawing some sense into this tomcat felt like the best way of doing things now, knowing words would just upset the warrior more. But actually, he would be feeling more frustrated and angry than the apprentice right now. Being pinned up against his dark past, blamed and beaten down, who could blame him for acting this way?

But still, in Sorrelpaw's stubborn mind, she felt as if she had a new duty on her paws. A new challenge. Maybe, just maybe, she could make Crimsonclaw into a better cat. Make him unafraid of his past. Try to lure him out of his shell. Not a lot of cats knew of what Crimsonclaw had shared with her, right? Who else would take action? She was the only one who could.

But it was going to be much harder than just making him laugh or joke or anything 'impossible'. It was going to be beyond impossible in this new goal. But she had to. There was no way she could let this go now. It would take time for the process to go smoothly, trying to open him up step by step and getting more comfortable around her, but she was up for it. All she needed was time. She desperately wanted to prove Crimsonclaw that his past isn't something to be ashamed of and find weakness from, it's something to learn from and be stronger from.

With a dismissive flick of her ear, her stubborn glint in her eyes still a dancing flame, she swiftly turned around, her stalk betraying rage as she disappeared out of her mentor's gaze. Flicking her head over her shoulder she meowed in a rare calm manner, "Sometimes cats make mistakes in their past. They learn from it and move on. And they become stronger with the lesson they have just consumed. Maybe you should try it sometime instead of being afraid of your history all the time." and with that, she sped off without another word nor glance.

( Should we stop here permanently or start another board with training or meeting up in camp or something? )

Flaming eyes followed the slender she-cat as she slithered out of his grasp. The once gentle sunlight seemed to beat down on him and turn his crimson colored pelt a-flame. His heart wouldn't stop pumping, while his blood danced within him. Steam seemed to roll straight from his own nostrils as he watched the she-cat pad off.

The worst part was, that she was right. Crimsonclaw would never admit it, and maybe in this way the she-cat was stronger then him. With an angry snort Crimsonclaw turned off to the other direction. As he padded through the reeds and small undergrowth he found his mind longing for the cool touch of the river.

Perhaps this would calm his nerves, with a grunt he followed the usual worn down path of ancient paw-prints and scents, which would bring him to his destination. As the river grew into sight he found the rushing water and sound of melting snow relaxing.

As he slithered into the icy cold water he began to let his anger unfold, with each powerful kick he found himself much more calm. Much more like his former self, the Crimsonclaw everyone hated. As his kicks grew limper and limper, his mind grew calmer and calmer. Soon he was just standing in the water, he watched every tendril of grass move, while the wind ruffled his pelt.

The perfect solution was in his mind as well; Next time I see her, I'll speak to her as a mentor. If anything is brought up about my past she will get nothing other then what is the truth.

"I am a failure."

ooc: I'm not sure when they could meet up again xD Perhaps in camp sometime? xD Sorry for taking so long to respond, I had no idea what to say :C