Just Us Elders {{Badgerfleet}}

Silverstorm
People like us gotta stick together
Keep your head up nothing lasts forever

The warm air of day slipped through the trees of the Shadowclan territory and warmed the already hot elder as she squished through the marshlands with the black and white tom moving beside her. She grumbled something under her breath about her belly fur getting caked but kept going, despite the fact that she hated being so hot. Silverstorm and Badgerfleet had decided to go out on their daily walk a little early and see if they could possibly find some prey they could catch for the clan.

As elders they were supposed to be eating first, but even the usually greedy Silverstorm was telling the apprentices to take their share of food to the queens and Leader. They needed to be strong because they depended on the future of the clan, not some elder who could pass with any passing moment. But Badgerfleet still made her eat, so occasionally they would share a piece of prey they a timid apprentice would bring.

She was glad that Badgerfleet was here with her. If not, she probably would have asked a warrior to take her out to find death berries already. She knew how desperate the clan was for food. They shouldn't be wasting their food on her.
"I say we stay out here rather than go back to the camp, Badgerfleet," she mewed, a light tone to her voice, a tone the tom only got to hear when they were alone. "We're both still strong enough, or i believe we are, they we can catch a few lizards here and there and if a snake kills us so be it. The clan has no need for us so why bother?"

She knew he would argue. Maybe that was all she wanted him to do.

<sup>He knew there was something wrong, he was old but he was not blind… at least not entirely. Ever since that fateful Gathering everything had changed abruptly, green-leaf was on its way but it felt like the bitter claws of hunger were stubborn. All of the prey the once mighty warriors caught was scrawny and most of it was sick, as their medicine cat had declared. It was all just plain wrong. His mind drifted back to reality when his friend grumbled something under her breath, probably complaining as she usually did, under normal circumstances he would have cracked a chuckle and attempt to cheer Silverstorm up but he couldn’t find the strength to do that right now. Maybe he was just too hungry, he neglected his meals in favor of the clan and his favorite she-cat, but he could feel his silent sacrifices already taking a toll on his body.

A warm breeze caressed his fur and somehow when his eyes went towards the silver she-cat he found a little bit of strength to keep walking. Do it for her, he pledged to himself. Then she spoke and it pained him to listen to her weak voice, he’d been doing everything he could to make her eat day after day but it seemed it was not enough.

“I say we stay out here rather than go back to the camp, Badgerfleet," Her tone was soft, the softest she ever spoke with, the tone only he was allowed to hear. "We're both still strong enough, or i believe we are, we can catch a few lizards here and there and if a snake kills us so be it. The clan has no need for us so why bother?"

Badgerfleet stopped, the unconscious tensing of his muscles send a small wave of pain through his body, his sore shoulder aching more and more ever since food was beginning to scarce. He stared at Silverstorm sternly, he knew she only said those things so he would argue but it still hurt him whenever she said it so carelessly. “Silverstorm…” his voice was hoarse and it came out more strained that what he had hoped, he cleared his throat and tried again. “Listen, you need to stop saying that, I know that is not what you truly think, “ his voice was more confident albeit a little frail “the Clan would never allow us to die so carelessly.” And it hurts me more than any old wound when you say that. He smiled because he knew Silverstorm needed his smiles to get by and he needed her happiness to keep going. He vowed he would get her through this bitter times, they would live long enough to see their clan happy again… or at least she would and he was going to make sure of that.</sup>

Silverstorm
People like us gotta stick together
Keep your head up nothing lasts forever

Silverstorm listened as Badgerfleet told her that she was speaking foolishly. good, he still cared what would happen to them. If he had agreed she probably would have claws his ears off. She kept going them stopped hearing something ahead. Moving her tail enough to motion to Bagerfleet to stop she slowly crouched and slipped forward. Ahead a rather plump toad was croaking away. She watched it intently, gritting her teeth against her old aching joints.

She just sat there a moment before lunging forward but all her muscles protested and it slowed her down. The toad hopped to safety easily and the she-cat sighed and hit some of the muddy ground with her paw sending it right into Badgerfleet's face who was coming her way. She stopped and just stared at him. The mud hadn't hit his eyes luckily, but she was finding it really hard not to start laughing.

"You, uh, got a little something on your face," she mewed her voice trembling from laughter some. She moved over and flicked the mud that had landed on his shoulder off with her tail before sitting down. "Sorry about that, but either the toads are getting faster or I'm getting slower. I believe it's the toads."

She let the smile travel to her eyes as she watched her den mate. She didn't know why but she really did enjoy coming out here with Badgerfleet. It reminded her of their days as apprentices and warriors. She knew that everything he did for her was because he adored her, but she couldn't let herself fell that emotion again. She was afraid it would hurt too much.

<sup>He cracked a small smile and followed close by, seeing Silverstorm do the hunter’s crouch reminded him of his apprentice days back when they were both young and carefree, their only worry was to learn as fast as possible so they could fulfill their long-life dream of being proud ShadowClan warriors. Back then he dreamed of a life together with the silver she-cat, he imagined they would grow old together and enjoy their days in peace… maybe even see their kits grow and mature, make a life of their own. At least part of his wishful thinking had become reality; they were both here, old and weary but together. His train of thought was interrupted when Silverstorm leapt at the toad and instead of catching the croaking creature she landed on a pile of mud sending droplets of it flying towards his face.

Apparently his face all covered in mud and his wrinkled nose was amusing because he could see the hint of a laugh in Silverstorm’s features. “You, uh, got a little something on your face,” He looked down at the mud and acted surprised, as if saying ‘really? I had not noticed’ before shaking the mud away. She flicked a small bit from his stiff shoulder and the gesture made him smile. “Sorry about that, but either the toads are getting faster or I'm getting slower. I believe it's the toads.”

“Back in my day toads were lazy and practically waited for you to pounce on them,” he mused remembering how many time he had slipped in the mud while trying to catch toads. Warmly he recalled a ‘toad catching competition’ against his brother, his plan back then had been to catch the biggest most amazing toad of the whole swamp and present it to the beautiful Silverpaw who would be awed by his hunting skills and would praise him so. He never did manage to catch the most amazing toad, instead he had just gone back with a measly lizard but he always thought his present had impressed the silver she-cat. Badgerfleet missed giving her little presents like that, ever since their misadventure with the rats his shoulder had protested every time he tried to do the hunter’s crouch. “Do you remember the lizard I gave you once, when we were apprentices? I was so proud of that lizard,” he chuckled, if memory served it had been the most pathetic piece of prey of the day.</sup>

Silverstorm
People like us gotta stick together
Keep your head up nothing lasts forever

She grew quiet as he cleaned his face off. She was glad she hadn't hit his good eye. That was that childish for her to hit the mud like that. Yeah she was old, but she should have known that the toad would have gotten away. It seemed like everything was slowly slipping away. Her strength, the clan's hope, her sanity. But one thing, one cat was always right there beside her. She was glad that he wasn't going anywhere. She would miss the big furball, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

At the mention of the lizard from their apprentice-hood she couldn't help but let out a snorting laugh. She didn't mean it in a mean way, she never did when it came to Badgerfleet, but that had been the smallest lizard that she had ever seen in her life. A kit could have caught that thing if she had remembered right.
"Yes i do recall that lizard. If i remember right,it was the smallest piece of prey that day and the kits boasted that they could catch something bigger," she mewed.

She thought back to those days wen they were younger, then the clan was alive and thriving. Now as she thought about it, besides them, Emberheart, was the oldest cat in the clan, and even then she was fifty-two moons younger than herself, fifty-three for Badgerfleet. Most of the cats they grew up with, lived with, trained with, were all gone. These clanmates, these kits to them, had no idea what they had known.

"We're too damn old," she murmured, her ears going back some. Her tone wasn't bitter, but sad and almost hurt. Why? Why were they still alive when everyone they cared about was gone. Well, maybe not everyone. She still had him. She would always have him. He may not know it, but she give her own life for him. He deserved it more than she did. He deserved so much more than he got.


Word Count:: 329
Tagged:: Badgerfleet
Thoughts:: We made these cats unrealistically old. lol Like literally, Emberheart is the closest to their age....

Badgerfleet cherished her laugh, the sweet and rasping sound echoing through the marshes made him smile, watching her laugh even if just for a little while made him happy. So he laughed along with her, both at the memory of the pathetic lizard and because he could, because he was alive and breathing. “Yes I do recall that lizard. If i remember right, it was the smallest piece of prey that day and the kits boasted that they could catch something bigger,” her words made even more memories flood back. The kits snorting and laughing at his prey, yet he never faltered with his gift, in his mind it was the thought and effort behind the gift what counted. He was kind of innocent back then, all full of hope for the future and truly looking forward to it. When did he start looking at the past for comfort? Silence slowly settled over the marshes as both elders continued their moment of remembrance.

He missed his brother, that red ball of fur being his annoying and self-centered self, boasting about his accomplishments and taking every step with pride. In fact he missed everyone, his friends and comrades, his mentor, his mother and his father, the days full of wonder and anticipation. The clan as of now was full with young cats; hopeful about the future just like he’d been back then and it filled him with a similar feeling.

“We're too damn old,” her words echoed his thought with a different tone, one of sadness and hurt, Silverstorm did not share his feelings for the future and that was normal, Badgerfleet had been accused of being optimistic for the most part of his life. “Did you ever imagine, Silverstorm?” He mused with a kind smile, his tone was soft and transmitted that calmness that usually surrounded him. “Back when I was young the thought of becoming an elder never crossed my mind,” because when one was so full of energy picturing a future where that energy ran down… it just seemed impossible. “Yet here we are, both old and grumbling about apprentices and complaining about the moss in our dens,” the words just flowed out of his mouth, he was being honest as usual. It is a gift he silently thought.

(OOC: Oh dear, you're right... but that's part of their charm, they're so old warriors are babies to them )

Silverstorm
People like us gotta stick together
Keep your head up nothing lasts forever

Her mind had wondered away after she had made her comment. So many memories jabbed at her like claws in her chest and she fought to keep the shaky sob in her throat. She couldn't cry in front of Badgerfleet, she was too proud for that. Her mind went back to Foxfur, how she had thought he was everything she would ever want, and with that came the memory of the dead kits, the words he said when he left her alone. That crushing sensation clawed at her, and she shrunk down, curling up tightly against the ground.

She heard it, that hiccuping sob and laid her ears back hearing Badgerfleet talking about how he never imagined that they would be elders complaining about apprentices and bedding.
"That because we thought, that maybe, we would die protecting our clan," she slowly choked up, "That's what i wanted. To die a hero, but now..."

She couldn't finish. Her body was shaking form sobs that she wouldn't let out. Her eyes were shut tight, blocking the tears that wanted to escape. Behind her closed eyelids, she imagined what Mousepelt would have looked like grown up, she saw Foxfur growing old beside them. It was never supposed to have happened this was. They should have lived, not her. She had tried to throw away her own life, and they paid the price instead.

Then she felt it. That presence. It had always been there, never leaving her though at times she had pushed it so far away. She slowly looking up she stared deep into Badgerfleet's eyes.He was just watching her. She could see worry, pain. But it wasn't for himself. It was for her. EVerythign he had done had been for her. And it took her so many moons to realize it.

She stood and pushed her head under his chin seeking comfort. She couldn't handle it alone, but...did she ever really have to.
"I'm so sorry, Badgerfleet."

The words were soft, but they held the most emotion that the she-cat have ever showed before in her life.

Word Count:: 340
Tagged:: Badgerfleet
Thoughts:: She does have a heart...and just so you know, i was almost crying writing this lol. But sadly, it'll still take her a bit to be this open around others cats. lol

Badgerfleet knew that look, those shakes in her body were familiar Silverstorm was trying not to cry. Had his words made her sad? He never meant it to be hurtful, he mentally clawed his face, at times he felt like the dumbest cat in the whole clan and that he needed a filter for his optimistic mouth. This was one of those times. He said the wrong thing and made the she-cat he desperately wanted to make smile and laugh cry. He looked at her fresh worry and pain coursing through his eyes, or at least through his good eye, the other eye was as dull as the frozen river. He didn’t know what to do, the elder was all smiles and brightness but whenever someone started to cry, especially his denmate, his mind halted. If he tried to cheer her up would she be upset? Should he give her more space? He felt like an apprentice for reasons unknown.

But then Silverstorm stood up, her eyes were teary and he could see every single wall she carefully built destroyed. His mind stopped its frantic running, his gaze softened when he felt her fluffy fur tickle his chin and her warmth on his chest. "I'm so sorry, Badgerfleet." He stood silent, he only moved to press her lightly against his body in an attempt to give her the safety and comfort she deserved. Her words were so soft he could barely hear them but they were sincere, they rang with truth and… vulnerability. Silverstorm never allowed herself to show her emotions, sometimes out of pride and sometimes out of fear of being hurt, Badgerfleet understood, he was used to her demeanor and knew she didn’t really mean to hurt anyone that in fact she was the most caring she-cat in the entire forest so seeing her like this made the old tom realize how much she trusted him and how much he loved her.

He’d never say it out loud. He was afraid he would hurt her by saying it. But it was the truth, pure and solid truth. He loved her, he always had, ever since they were apprentices, heck, since they were kits. But he wasn’t greedy, he loved her too much to be greedy so he simply stood there quietly, thinking about her. Badgerfleet closed his eyes and rested his chin on top of her head, it felt was peaceful, and he hoped every single day could be as peaceful as this one. He smiled just the slightest bit, the hint of a smile in truth. “You don’t need to be sorry,” he whispered, not really daring to look at her face just yet. “I miss them too…” his mew was wistful, as if he was talking about old friends he would see again one day. But for now he wanted to stay here with her.

Another type of smile appeared in his face… if only he could say it out loud.

I love you.




[OOC: I’m so mushy and cheesy lately, I just couldn’t help it ]