break it down [snowpaw]

Crimsonclaw drummed his claws over the soft, peaty, riverclan earth - his mind was running. He remembers watching the blood pool from her mouth; it ran down her chin and into her chest. The deputy's eyes were alive with things he couldn't possibly fathom. What was she seeing in her last moments? What did she know? Everyone was so concerned with the physicality of the situation that they completely ignored what Morningstreak had said in the beginning, before her death. There was something important; something she had wanted to warn them about. "What did you want to tell us..." He whispered quietly. But before he could let his mind delve into deeper fantasies he heard Finchstar's familiar yowl. The tom let his breath billow silently from his maws before moving. He listened to the meeting quietly; he trusted his leader to make the best decision for their clan and didn't feel the need to make any input. What had happened, happened. There was nothing they could do. Still, he offered his support with encouraging nods and a strong facade. He knew he was Finchstar's rock, but he also knew the potential his leader harbored. It was only time; time was what he needed. Finchstar would prove himself undoubtedly.

When the meeting was over Crimsonclaw traveled slyly to his mate's side and gave her playful shove, "I'm going to take Snowpaw out for a bit." He murmured affectionately into her ear. Sorrelstrike shot him a haughty glance and pawed him away. The tom gave her a crooked grin before padding toward the distracted apprentice. She wasn't paying any attention to him. Instead, she was hunched over, consumed in her thoughts. Crimsonclaw loomed over her, his eyes narrowed, "Snowpaw." He barked. The she-cat jumped almost immediately, surprised with his presence. "You look like you need a distraction." The senior warrior meowed coolly; without saying anything else he turned on his heel and beckoned toward the river.

The air was crisp, leaf-bare was clenching the terrain with it's frigid temperatures. Today wasn't as terribly cold as it had been, but it was still well below freezing. The tom gave his pelt a shake, ruffling his fur; an attempt to keep warm. He was going to teach Snowpaw how to fish when the river was frozen. There were a few techniques that had been taught to him, long ago, back when he was an apprentice. You could break the ice where it was thin enough and sit and wait for the fish to appear, or you could look for strong currents and try for a fish there. Neither method was ideal but there was little you could do when the river was frozen; and riverclan had to eat. The tom turned to his silent apprentice, the she-cat had been rather unresponsive lately. He couldn't blame her. Crimsonclaw felt his gaze softened, they were actually pretty alike, him and her. Just as him, she too had lost her siblings. And if they were anything alike, well, she was probably blaming herself for their deaths.

"Ever fish during leaf-bare?" He meowed. The tom curled his body into a sit, and glanced quickly toward the river, "It takes awhile but it's not too difficult."

SNOWPAW

At the yowl of Riverclan’s leader, Snowpaw pushed herself up from her nest. She could feel her hindquarters stiffen in protest at the sudden movement. At a young age her joints were already protesting against the cold air. A gust of wind ruffled Snowpaw’s pelt as she stepped out into the clearing where most of the clan were already seated. Glancing to the side Snowpaw took a spot not far from the apprentice den entrance and curled her tail around her trying to keep in as much warmth as she could.

The leader’s words were heard by deaf ears as Snowpaw started blankly ahead of her. She still couldn’t comprehend what had happened at the meeting not so long ago. It had all happened so fast. All around her yowls increased in volume at each passing moment and then from above black shapes were swooping over top of the clearing. Snowpaw had later come to the conclusion that it was a flock of black birds, a very large flock of black birds.

“Snowpaw.” Snowpaw jumped at the sudden bark of her name snapping her from her thoughts and whipped her head towards the figure of her mentor, Crimsonclaw, which was now standing by her side. Snowpaw blinked and turned back to the rest of the clearing to see that cats were dismissing themselves. Slowly, Snowpaw dipped her head a fraction and turned back to him. Her clear blue eyes shifted so that she was looking at him squarely in the face. Before she could ask what it was he had planned he was taking off towards the tunnel. She winced slightly at the stiffness of her muscles as she padded after him. She could feel her body getting out of shape from the lack of exercise lately.

Before she knew it she was standing by Crimsonclaw’s side a good foot away from the river’s edge. She felt her head tilt slightly to the side at her mentor’s words. This was her first leaf-bare as an apprentice and it was only a few days ago that the surface of the river froze over. Following Crimsonclaw’s lead Snowpaw sat next to him and once again curling her tail around herself. ”I have not had the chance to try.” She murmured concentrating her gaze on the frozen liquid before them, ”So how’s it done?"

<sup>The tom pushed himself onto his paws and padded toward the water's edge. He studied the ice, checking to see if it looked stable enough for his training session. He wouldn't dare let his apprentice hobble across thin ice - it was too dangerous. A few moons before warrior ceremony Crimsonclaw had his own experience with thin ice. Fortunately for him his mentor had been there to catch before he fell too far. He remembered padding confidently over the ice and suddenly the world beneath him buckled. His claws desperately raked through the ice but only more broke off with his struggle. What he remembered most was the water crawling up his spine and into his core - it was freezing. The ordeal only lasted for a few seconds before his mentor fished him out by the scruff and dragged him to shore. He spent the afternoon cleaning the elders den for acting too 'cocky' He figured his near death experience should have been punishment enough, but that wasn't the case.

In Snowpaw's case the water looked fine. The ice was thick enough to support their weight without any real dangers present. Still, it was important to exercise caution. The tom cast his apprentice a quick glance, "Follow me." Crimsonclaw placed a tentative paw atop the ice and slowly adjusted his weight forward. Nothing. With a grunt, he gingerly stepped across the ice until he was dead center. It was strange seeing the terrain from this perspective. Leaf-bare really changed things more than they took the time to consider. The tom stopped and peeked over his shoulder, checking to see if the white she-cat was behind. "Be careful." He warned, "The water should be strong enough to support our weight, but you never know for sure. If you feel unsafe at any time just left me know." Flicking his tail he led Snowpaw downstream - bringer her closer to the gorge.

"Windclan resides near here." He murmured quietly, "It's important to familiarize yourself to their scent." The warrior figured it was redundant of him, and that Snowpaw wasn't a new apprentice - still, might as well say it. Suddenly he could hear it - there, in the distance, he could hear the roar of the gorge. It was the only part of the river that wasn't frozen, and the only supply of fish the clan had during these periods of cold weather. The tom ruffled his pelt, trying to draw warmth in, "Stay back." He warned. The ice was growing thinner the closer they got to the falls. It was dangerous, but riverclan had to eat. Crimsonclaw brought his apprentice as close to the falls as he could and then turned to face her. "This is extremely dangerous. I want you to be careful." And then he began to break the ice.</sup>

SNOWPAW

Snowpaw twitched her ear at Crimsonclaw’s sudden order. She waited patiently behind the tom as he slowly stepped out across the slippery surface. All of her senses where on full alert as she followed her mentor’s footsteps. One foot after the other she kept a good few inches between them so that their combined weight wouldn’t disturb the un-cracked surface. Her gaze left the frozen ground at her mentor’s words and found herself scanning the area around her. Everything was so white almost like a blur to her. From out on the water’s surface all the trees and brush seems to blend together under a coat of snow. She let out a quit sighed at her weak eyesight.

Her mentor’s useless babbling about Windclan’s scent had Snowpaw rolling her eyes, ”I know that.” She softly bit out, almost as a whisper. She learned what each clan scent smelled like during her first month as an apprentice, along side her siblings. A pain shot through her at the sudden thought. Snowpaw’s legs almost buckled beneath her, but caught herself forcing cool air through her nose in a deep intervals to calm her nerves. ’I can’t think about that right now,’ she silently scolded herself.

The sound of rushing water thundered in her ears. Crimsonclaw’s warning was barely heard over the loud noise of the gorge. From where her mentor last stood, small surface cracks where left behind. She could feel it underneath her too, the slight shift of the thinning ice beneath her weight. Snowpaw’s eyes widen as she watched the tom stop just ahead of her. He raked his claws against the ice purposely breaking the solid barrier that separated them from the cold water below.

Snowpaw didn’t know what to do. Was she supposed to help him break the ice or wait for him to finish? She almost voiced her question, but decided against it. With slow, careful steps the white she-cat moved towards where the tom was and keeping a good foot between them. Her ears were strained to their max trying to listen to any unwanted sound to alert her.

She watched Crimsonclaw press his weight onto the fragile ice with his forepaws carefully. His attention was fully on the task before him. Staying on her side she copied her mentor’s movements. Slowly, the ice broke away in little pieces. Her paws slowly became numb from the frigid water whenever one of her paws slipped into the dark abyss for a split second before dragging it back out.

”The water is freezing,” the she-cat murmured lifting her cold paw from the ice trying to bring feeling back into it. The attempt was useless. She lowered her paw back down, ”Leaf-bare is definitely not my favorite time of year.”

<sup>The tom pressed the soles of his forepaws into the ice, it immediately broke from the mainland and fell into the gushing current. The tom worked at the ice, breaking it off into a circular pattern. He kept a good amount between the current and his hole; making sure to only break the flimsy pieces and keep the sturdy parts untouched. Crimsonclaw wanted the ice to support their weight. An icy plunge could definitely be fatal. Every now and then he stopped to watch his apprentice out of the corner of his eye - she wasn't as strong as he was and wasn't able to work as quickly. Still, she did what she could with her strength. ”Leaf-bare is definitely not my favorite time of year.” The tom shrugged at her comment. Leaf-bare was almost unbearable this year. The temperatures were well below freezing and the nights were frigid. He wondered how they even managed to get up each morning without shattering into pieces. His bones often felt like glass.

"It's a part of life." He meowed calmly, "It allows the terrain to heal itself; allows it to come back stronger each year." Crimsonclaw stopped working for a moment and fixed his gaze on his apprentice, "We must suffer in order to be grateful." The tom glanced away, watching as the water brushed under the ice and out of sight. "Snowpaw." He began quietly, "I know you have suffered greatly." He returned his gaze, watching his kin jolt beneath his words, "But the sun is going to shine again. There is a light at the end of this tunnel."

Crimsonclaw pushed himself away from the hole and curled his body into a sit. He lifted his chin and closed his eyes, "Life beats on. Bad things will happen and the pain will seem unbearable, but there are good things too." He opened his eyes, "The good things are worth it. Trust me. You just have to keep going because your time will come." Crimsonclaw could feel the old demons in his chest. The thoughts that used to keep him awake at night. If only I could have been there. He would have died for his sisters. He would have given his life for them; for his mother. He would have done anything to see the light in his father's eyes, but he never saw them again. Even in his dreams they were gone. Instead his mind was plagued with the mistakes of his past.

But things got better. As ridiculous as it sounds; things got better. He met the love of his life and he couldn't be happier. Sorrelstrike brought him back the brink of death. He was still breathing, but he wasn't alive. He went each day knowing that his past was there to haunt him and she took it all away. Crimsonclaw went to bed each night knowing that he had something to live for; a reason to wake up every morning. Sorrelstrike was his salvation and he knew someday his apprentice will feel the same. She'll find her reason and until then she just had to keep her chin up. "You can't let the past control you."</sup>