Live... please live (Crystalmoon)

(Rainy, wish and others. yes she has kits. However I created her pregnant... Pluse. None of these kits will live. Hopekit will be able to be used once and a while in starclan. If anyone wants to.)

Raggedflower
^{Keep bleeding love}

The torbie cat hadn't called for anyone, she had started birthing when she was alone in the den. Silverwing and the kits weren't there. The she-cat whimpered, nosing at the kits that lay before her. Two of them were not moving, one was barely breathing. They were even born too early. They looked so helpless, so small. She nosed two of them, they were dead. Finally she turned to the third and began to lick him. "Come on Hopekit, please live... please...." she cried, giving her only living a son a name. "Don't die on me baby. Come on... please." she cried softly. "Hopekit.. my son..." seeing she was getting nowhere she raised her voice and mewed loudly. "CRYSTALMOON! HELP! Please..." the last word was a whisper as she saw Hopekit go still, and stop breathing. "No... no.... " she yowled, heartbroken. Once again she had failed, once again she prooved she was of no worth. She had let her kits die. What kind of queen was she. Useless... stupid and useless. Just like her father had said. She wasn't good at anything.
Turning back to Hopekit she kept on licking his tiny body, hoping to somehow bring him back. Somehow...
Please starclan, please... give me my kits back... in any way. Please...

<sup>Crystalmoon
I wish everything was normal again

Crystalmoon pricked her ears up when she heard a desperate call pierce the air. She sniffed the air. Blood. It was wafting to her from the nursery. After moons of work as a medicine cat and a wonderful teacher, she knew these things by heart. It was almost like a blessing from StarClan. But, every scent seemed to be stronger since that tom came into her life.

Grabbing the herbs needed for pregnancy, she rushed toward the nursery, almost dropping her supplies in the clumsy movement. Entering the nursery she franticly looked around, then spotted the limp queen trembling over small bodies. Padding over to her she meowed softly, "They're safe in StarClan now...I'm so sorry..."</sup>

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Raggedflower
^{Keep bleeding love}

She nudged the two smaller bodies. "They never even moved." she mewed sadly, licking the tiny forms. "Why can't I do anything right? Is this my fault, that my kits are... dead?" She paused and looked at the she-cat, her green eyes hallow. "The one that almost lived, I called him Hopekit. I named him in hope he would... live."

"You... you are carrying kits." she mewed softly. She paused. "Let's not let anyone know my kits died. I suppose that was the will of starclan, so I could care for yours." She whispered. She paused, looking at the Medicine cat before her. She knew she had to keep the seceret. If anyone found out... if Tinypaw found out.
"Wh-who is the father?" she mewed softly. "I won't tell anyone, you can tell me. I swear, my lips are sealed." she drew her tail over her mouth in a way that showed she was not going to say a thing.

<sup>Crystalmoon
I wish everything was normal again

Crystalmoon stared at her in surprise. She...knew? How did she know she was pregnant? Glancing down at her stomach she noticed it was rather swollen, and a faint smell of milk wafted from her. Ah...I didn't know it was that noticeable... But what surprised her even more was the offer she made. Was she really willing to do that for her, a cat who couldn't save her kits?

"You're doing something right this time Raggedflower..." Crystalmoon said softly with a warm smile curving her lips. "StarClan has gifted this Clan with such a good-hearted she-cat. Thank you." But her happy attitude changed to fear as she felt her heart stop at the sound of 'father'. Should I tell her...? No. She deserves to hear the truth. She's mothering my kits.

"W-Well...he's a rogue. Called The Hunter if I remember correctly. He...he...well...forced these kits upon me..." Crystalmoon lifted her head up, noticing she had her gaze locked onto her paws. Then in a sudden realization she meowed franticly, "What about your offspring? Where will you put the bodies? How will anyone know you're still pregnant if you have no kits?"</sup>

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(Maybe when they are outside of camp she goes into labour)

Raggedflower
^{Keep bleeding love}
The she-cat stood shakily and picked up two of the kits in her mouth. "We leave camp and bury them." she mewed. "No one will know. No one will ever know. Not even the kits. Just you and I." she said. Pausing she looked at her. "He- he forced himself on you. Th-that's awful... Why would anycat do that?" Her green eyes were worried. What if she got attacked by the hunter. That would be the worst thing ever. No... loosing her kits was the worst thing ever. Though maybe starclan took them from her so she could care for Crystalmoon's kits. It made sense, she guessed. Even if it hurt a lot, it was the will of Starclan.

"Um... can you pick up Hopekit please..." she asked, mewing sadly. "He never had a chance to live." She mewed sadly. "Now he'll play forever in starclan." She sighed. "About your kits... even if you didn't want to mate. I think that we shouldn't let Tinypaw know. She might hurt them. I heard her talking, about a culling of non-believes. It's crazytalk, isn't it Crystalmoon?"

<sup>Crystalmoon
I wish everything was normal again

Crystalmoon relived the memory of the event, her body started to tremble at just the thought of it. It wasn't like the love and pleasure and warmth you get from someone you care about. It was forceful and cold and heartless. What was worse was it was from someone she didn't even know. A loner, probably pouncing on other unfortunate victims. One day, I'll hunt him down...

Grasping the limp body of Hopekit, she listened carefully to Raggedflower's reassuring words. It was nice to have someone she could trust. She stumbled upon this she-cat at the right time, and the right moment. "Yes..." Crystalmoon meowed, her voice muffled by fur. "Sometimes I don't know if she will be the medicine cat I hope for if she keeps talking nonsense..."

As they exited the camp in quiet and stealth, it seemed as if no one spotted the two slipping out of camp. After a few moments of walking she found fertile land that was in the shade of a large tree, moonlight dappling the lush ground. Placing the kit down to rest her jaws she meowed, "What about he-"

Crystalmoon collapsed on her side, pain overwhelming her. She felt weak and a feeling like she was on fire. Am I...? What's going on...? It can't be...!

"Raggedflower...! I'm...I'm giving birth!"</sup>

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Raggedflower
^{Keep bleeding love}

She looked at the she-cat, her eyes wide with shock. She laid the two kits she was carrying down and ran to Crystalmoon's side. "Okay... ummm breath... yeah that's it! Keep breathing." She began to pace back and forth. She had never been a Medicine cat. She didn't know what she was supposed to get. "Umm.... what do I do?" she mewed looking at Crystalmoon with wild eyes. "You've helped so many she-cats give birth." she mewed. "I mean, what should I do to help you. Please tell me. I need to help. I... ummm..." she continued panicking rather impressivly.

"Okay, like I said, keep breathing. Don't stop doing that. I mean that's the most important thing right now. And umm... push... yeah that's it. Push breath... push push... breath...." She began calming down a little herself. However she still looked as if she were about to go into hysterics.

<sup>Crystalmoon
I wish everything was normal again

Crystalmoon followed the she-cat's instructions, feeling like a patient in the medicine cat's den. It was a strange feeling, having the roles completely reversed. And it was obvious that neither one of them wanted to really experience that. Crystalmoon never wanted, never dreamed of actually feel the pain of what her patients went through while giving birth. But at least she could understand better and give better tips.

"No need to panic, Raggedflower. Y-you would have been a great medicine cat," Crystalmoon reassured, followed by a low yowl of pain. It was hard to keep her wails to a whisper, but she had to. Or her rank as a medicine cat would be at stake. Suddenly, a warm body flooded out, catching her by surprise. Encouraged, she pushed harder, giving up all the strength she had in order to shorten the delivery. Slowly, one by one, kits escaped her body, tasting fresh air for the first time.

Crystalmoon licked them furiously, but something happened that she didn't expect. One last kit exited her belly, but a tiny string was wrapped around her neck. Oh no! Automatically, she rushed into action, ripping the umbilical cord in half with her teeth. Carefully she unraveled the danger, putting all her time and effort to the surviving kit. But before she realized it, the kit was dead. It was a beautiful long-haired tortoiseshell, but there was no need to admire it now, for it was living in StarClan.

Trying to ignore the loss, she distracted herself in cleaning the other five kits. It wasn't long before their instinct kicked in, and they were feeding off her milk. "You queens go through a lot, huh..?" Crystalmoon panted, a warm smile sweeping across her face. "Thank you. You were a great help. In return..." Crystalmoon casted her gaze across the suckling kits. "Want to help name them?"</sup>

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Raggedflower
^{Keep bleeding love}

"N-name them." She mewed. "O.. of course." She smiled leaning down to lick the kits. "They're so lovely." She told her. "I... I hope that everyone thinks they're mine. I mean they look nothing like me..." She sighed and smiled at the five kits.
"That one looks like Midnightmoon." She mewed. "We should call her Midnightkit." She smiled a little.
"Oh this one looks tough." She said. "Like a little Wolverine." She smiled and reached down to pull a bit of moss off one kit's head and giggled.
"What about Mosskit for this one?" She said, eyes bright.
"Oh and Coalkit." She licked his head.

"Crystalmoon, if Tinypaw does go crazy... Maybe I should learn to be a Medicine cat. I'm too... broken to be a warrior."