something stupid [birdpaw]

Tanglepaw coiled his tail around his paws, and adjusted his stance, straightening his torso until it was statue still. Then the tom narrowed his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the right and examined camp. It was quiet. Words were quiet these days. The clan was still shaking, spooked at every sound. It wasn't everyday the deputy dropped dead, blood convulsing from her throat, her toes digging into the earth, her maws cracked in a silent scream - the tom squeezed his eyes shut, he didn't want to think about that today. Not right now. Not when his dreams were filled with her puppet loose body writhing on the floor. Opening his eyes he looked for a familiar face. Camp was empty. With a grimace he picked himself to his feet and padded over to the apprentice den. The tabby poked his head through the twisting moor-grass and found one, singular sleeping denmate. Birdpaw

The tom's jowls gnarled into a scowl. Birdpaw wasn't his cup of tea. The two clashed effortlessly...but he was bored. He was tired of slinking around camp, his eyelids stained with Morningstreak's blood. So he drew himself into the shadows and padded toward the resting she-cat. "Birdpaw." he mewed. The tom inched closer, his heavy breath heating the back of her neck, "Birdpaw, wake up." Tanglepaw drew his paw and nudged her shoulder, "Let's go do something stupid."

He wasn't used to being quiet for this long. A moon had passed since the deputy's death and he was growing antsy. He understood the terror. He understood the silent quake under everyone's pelt. But wasn't it time to move past it? They were warriors. Death was inevitable. They struggled everyday for survival. This wasn't a foreign experience to them. He may be an apprentice but Tanglepaw understood better than anyone that your family, your friends, your clanmates - they die. As he watched Birdpaw stir the tom felt himself shudder, Morningstreak's bloodied body lurked continued to lurk, under his bones, but Tanglepaw was tired of her ghostly presence. He wanted to rid his mind of the she-cat and what better medicine than something stupid? He didn't have anything in mind, and he was sure Birdpaw wanted nothing to do with him, but he had to work with what Starclan gave him.

occ: this is rusty as shit i'm sorry

It was black. Birdpaw could feel her pelt itch in the darkness, hear the rising and falling of her pelt as she breathed. In. Out. In. Out. But she couldn't see anything. She moved her paws to turn, but she couldn't tell if she was turning. She picked up her paw, and placed it in front of her. And then her other paw followed. She started to walk, although she couldn't see where she was walking, or if she was even moving.

She felt no fear. It was just darkness. She thought that she should feel afraid, but the fear didn't come. She just kept walking. And walking. And walking.

Birdpaw couldn't tell if time had passed. But as she walked she noticed something in front of her. A small, white dot. Barely larger than a star in the nighttime sky. And as she kept walking towards it, it grew larger. As Birdpaw approached she recognized the light as an entrance. Through it was bright white light. But she found that looking at the white light, the fear she thought she should feel in the dark was rising in the depths of her stomach. Birdpaw could not, would not, lift another paw to enter the brightness in front of her.

But then a voice called her name, and it came from the brightness in front of her. Birdpaw. Birdpaw, wake up. Her paws acted without her permission, and Birdpaw stepped into the brightness.

It was dark again. But this time it was because her eyes were closed. The dread that had been creeping up on the young apprentice when she had approached the white light encased her now. As a paw nudged her, she recognized the voice and scent that accompanied it."Let's go do something stupid."

Tanglepaw.

The stupid apprentice woke her up to go do something stupid? She could claw him, deeply, for that. But she restrained herself. Taking a deep breath she slowly stretched out her limbs and opened her eyes. Her voice laced with the barest hints of a growl, she spoke.

"Don't you remember what happened last time you had us go do something stupid?"

"Don't you remember what happened last time you had us go do something stupid?" The tom could feel his eyes roll entirely into the back of his head, "Don't you remember what happened last time you has us go something stupid." The tom mumbled mockingly under his breath, "Yeah, okay. That was a moon ago and nothing that bad happened, Birdpaw." That was an understatement. The apprentices had stumbled onto an abandoned burial ground and nearly found themselves trapped underground with ancient skulls and - The tom shook his head, it didn't matter. They weren't going to it again. He just wanted to get out of camp with someone that wasn't himself. He was tired of spending every waking moment with the thoughts in his head. They weren't good. They haven't been good in a long time, and Tanglepaw wanted to forget about that. The ginger tabby fixed the she-cat a heavy, dead-pan stare before meowing, "Fine. We won't do anything stupid. We can go hunt or do something useful for the clan..." He could feel himself trailing off, "I just want to get out of here."

He felt defeated. The atmosphere was beginning to drain him, and that was rare, especially for Tanglepaw. The majority of his life was spent proving himself to his denmates - proving to them that he wasn't some glorified idiot. He wanted them to know he was a serious contender, ya know? A serious candidate for one of windclan's best warriors, but nobody was going to take that seriously. He spent the entirety of his time being ridiculously immature and stupid, and when he wasn't goofing off, he was thinking about goofing off. And he didn't do it because he was actually an idiot. He goofed around because it made cats smile. It made them forget about the horrible things that happened every goddamn day, and instead of being scared or angry, they got to be annoyed at a stupid apprentice for putting thorns in the nests - or for telling a dumb joke - or screaming for no reason - they got to deal with these petty annoyances, and for a second they didn't think about their dead son or their missing sister. And that's why Tanglepaw was such an idiot.

Because he spent most of his life surrounded by death. At nearly three moons his twin sister died. A few moons later his other sister died. His brother died. His father disappeared. His mentor died. His friends died. Everyone died and if it weren't for his insanely optimistic outlook on life he wouldn't be here. He would be somewhere else. Somewhere different. Physically, he'd still be in windclan, but mentally - mentally he would be far away. And that's why it was easier. It was easier being an idiot. When you're an idiot, you don't have to think about anything. The tom glanced over his shoulder at his denmate, "I promise I won't be annoying." His voice was deeper, more serious, "I know they really don't like that..." The following words were quieter, more or less to himself.

"Yeah, okay. That was a moon ago and nothing that bad happened, Birdpaw."
Birdpaw only cocked an eyebrow at that. Because finding an old burial ground and almost dying wasn't bad. Not to mentioned after the discovery of that creep-hole, WindClan experienced a bout of bad luck. Morningstreak had bled to death, and prey was scarce, even though it was the middle of full-leaf and the prey pile should be brimming with food. Was Tanglepaw that dense to not realize that things were not hunky-dory, and doing something stupid was probably the worst thing they could do right-

"I just want to get out of here."

Okay. So Tanglepaw and Birdpaw might not be the best of buddies, but the young she-cat could detect his change in mood. To be honest, she didn't like the change at all. She had always thought having a non-annoying Tanglepaw around would be a heavenly miracle. But if that meant the ray of sunshine he seemed to emit from his butt every day was gone, she would rather keep the butt-ray.

For Tanglepaw to act depressed...to Birdpaw that meant the world must be ending. Sure, when he was being a complete idiot or good-ball she was annoyed beyond belief, but she had come to know that as Tanglepaw. It was a staple of life in camp for Tanglepaw to be doing something stupid. Maybe because he seemed like such a goofy constant she never stopped to think that he might be going through something bad.

Granted she won't let him know flat out that she really did appreciate his jokes and pranks, but she certainly wasn't going to celebrate this sudden change in him. Birdpaw sighed, and sat up on all four paws. She might not be able to read minds, or know what was causing Tanglepaw to feel this way, but she could commiserate that life sucked majorly right now.

"All right, you big goofball. Let's get out of camp. What did you have in mind?"

The tom quietly looked at his toes as he waited for the she-cat to mull it over. A few seconds went by and then he heard a long, exasperated sigh, followed quickly by the soft shuffling of paws. "All right, you big goofball. Let's get out of camp. What did you have in mind?" A slight smile tugged the corner of his lips and then he glanced up, "A hunting patrol? Along the falls?" It wasn't a grand, over the top, exhilarating scheme - it was a hunting patrol - but somehow, something that mundane was comforting to Tanglepaw. "We could race rabbits or throw rocks into the gorge if you think that's too boring." he added quickly, flashing the she-cat a lopsided grin. The excursion was already cheering him up. If he could just get out of camp and leave his problems here, in the apprentice's den, then everything would be alright for awhile.

He was suffocating in here. His thoughts were smothering him alive - heavy weights on his shoulders - pressing him deeper and deeper into the earth. He was starting to think that Morningstreak's death was his fault. It was weird, wasn't it?, that after she had found them that she had died? Tanglepaw could still remember the hollow, sullen eyes and the voices - he remembered the wailing, screaming howls. And they were all dead. The tom paused as a shiver traveled down his spine. His body involuntarily jolted, trying to rid the memories from his mind, but he could still feel the bones cracking under his weight as he dragged Flintpaw through the abandoned burial ground.

"Birdpaw," he meowed suddenly, "Do you think we should go and..." He glanced up his eyes wide as moons, "Maybe we should check on the..." The tom trailed off, hoping she knew what he was saying.

He didn't want to go back. The place still gave him nightmares, but for some reason, he felt it was his duty to investigate. For some reason, he felt Morningstreak's death and their little 'adventure' were connected. He looked back at the light tabby she-cat, "You know...the thing we found a moon ago."

"Yeah, yeah, a hunting patrol is fine." Birdpaw meowed gruffly. Birdpaw exited the den, merely flicking her ears back to show she heard Tanglepaw's addition of throwing rocks and racing rabbits. It did little to excite Birdpaw, but the thought made Tanglepaw happy, so, Birdpaw supposed, the trip wouldn't be a total waste of time.

Outside of the apprentices den, Birdpaw stopped to stretch again. She stretched more thoroughly then she had in the den. She took her time, stretching each limb, loosening her muscles and working out any knots she happened to find. Tanglepaw sat over to the side, quietly contemplating whatever it was he thought about. Birdpaw was not concerned over it.

Having finished her stretching, the pale tabby gestured to the camp's exit. Well, let's get going, Tanglepaw." She mewed as she ambled to the exit. But Tanglepaw's sudden sound stopped her in her tracks.

"Birdpaw, do you think we should go and..." Birdpaw could not explain why, but a cold chill began to creep along her spine. Tanglepaw continued "Maybe we should check on the..." The tom had been looking at the ground, but now he brought his amber gaze, wide and...Birdpaw couldn't tell if he was the one frightened, or if she was, or maybe both, to meet her own gaze. But Tanglepaw's hesitation to mention the...place...it made Birdpaw realize she wasn't so comfortable talking about it either.

The apprentice knew that Tanglepaw had a completely different experience with the burial ground they had discovered, but Birdpaw had been there. She had felt the death in the air and seen the bones in the ground. "You know...the thing we found a moon ago."

Tanglepaw finished, and now he looked at her for an answer. Birdpaw stayed silent, staring back at Tanglepaw. She was almost angry at herself for getting so worked up over it. But there was something about knowing those things were beneath them...Why did that sound familiar? It was almost exactly what Morningstreak had been reported to say before her death. The thought did little to comfort Birdpaw, who was trying diligently to disguise her distress over the thought of returning to that place.

But...Birdpaw felt like they should go back. Maybe they would find some answers. But she also did not want to be the one making the decision to return.

"I...I don't know...maybe...?" She left it open ended. Tanglepaw was good at taking initiative and bouncing on his feet. Maybe he would take her response and twist it into action.